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First things first

So in this post I will try and stay focused about things Jamaican. As many are aware in the past few months I’ve been spending a little more than a just a few days in farin. So it is through these eyes that I present to you the first things that must be done upon arrival at di airport. Yes that would be the Norman Manley International Airport in Kingston Jamaica.

Now the route from the airport home is not determined by you, but by three influencing factors.  They are the mode of transport, the time of day and to a lesser extent the day of the week.  Now let me insert my disclaimer in here.

“The JamaicanZ” (thee juh-mey-kuhn-zee) in no way endorses or condones  the behavior described in this post. He is only stating the facts as described to him in a sealed document he received from a pirate while in Port Royal.

With that said, back to firsts.  Once you exit the doors of the airport and politely advise the JUTA team “dat yuh good”.  Prepare for the 5 minute sidewalk wait inna di heat. Now on a normal day the heat would garner a complaint ‘lawks it hat!’, but ur home so no complaint from you.  Yes, you think that the first thing for you to do is to buy a water coconut from di water coconut person across the street. Well you would be wrong. The reason is simple your chariot has arrived.

Bags inna trunk and the circuitous ride home has begun.  Now if you “chauffeur” is a gentleman of any order, a beverage should be located on the back seat for a parched, weary traveler.  Now if it were me who were being picked up my expectation would be simple. The beverage should be a cue of Appelton, two cups, a Pepsi and of course a small cooler of ice. So the first thing one does is sip a freshly made rum and coke while cruising along the airport road.

So now that you have reached the bottom of that drink, you should have reached just about stadium.  Where, if you are lucky you will be able to buy a Star at the corner of old hope road and mountain view road. Yep another first. Now the driver should be moving to the first destination without delay.  That destination is the pub @ Mayfair hotel.  Why Mayfair? Well the answer is simple.  A/C.  You just come fram farin therefore you need time to acclimatize yourself to the heat that is Kingston. The Pub Now once you’ve poured your third drink and not a moment before, can you turn on your local phone. Here you are allowed to send only two texts. Why two? Well you do not want to raise two much of an alarm.

Now this is where, as previously stated, that the effects of time of day and day of the week come into play.  If its post 5pm. The stay at the pub will be long and filled with many cues resulting in a stop at princess chicken then home. If its pre- 5pm the heat will get the better of you. So your stay that the pub will be short lived. The result will be a long day filled with cue, in the hills then a stop at princess chicken before proceding home. No throw in the week-end factor and wow all bets are off.  A “Dance’ inna di garrison could be in the offing or maybe even a beach run.

Now that I have told you this information that was related to me please do not judge me. In addition below I have listed a few more first that from my understanding and must do’s within the first few hours of arriving back home

  • Stop at my mommy’s office to give her a hug and kiss.
  • Stop at Tigermart and get a coconut water because your driver neva mek you get one from the airport.
  • The various social media updates so that you can make your friends and family jealous inna farin.

In closing, I will say this using the words of our esteemed DJ, Admiral Bailey.  “Nuh where no betta dan yard.”

 
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Posted by on June 15, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Manners

Manners are defined as the following:

A. The prevailing customs, ways of living, and habits of apeople, class, period, etc.; mores: The Novels of Jane Austen are concerned with the manners of her time.

B. Ways of behaving with reference to polite standards; social comportment: That child has good manners.

With that said it amazes me that as a generation we have lost our manners. What happen to Good morning, Good Night and how are you? My mother has always said to me that manners can carry you a long way. I blog about this situation, because I’m just sick and tired of my people being so in tolerant of each other.

I make it a point to notice everyone who crosses my path. From Mrs. Richards the security guard at the shopping centre to Mike the gas station attendant. I will tell you something. It has gotten so bad that when we ask somebody “How are you?” we no longer wait and really listen for a reply. Why is this? Is it that we have become so darn self centred that we don’t want hear about each other’s lives. Is it that we have become so that “twittered” that we simply don’t care.

Well I ask you, no I challenge you to stop for a moment and look outward. Let’s be mindful of how we treat others. Let’s be polite, and full a manners. Let’s listen more and talk less. Let’s learn from others even if it’s just for this week.

 
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Posted by on July 18, 2012 in Event

 

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Play I some Music!

“Play I some music, strictly reggae music!”

Well I am in the middle of watching the new Bob Marley documentary called “Marley”.  I must say so far I’m a little disappointed. I would have hoped that it would not have been just another documentary. Well it is. I would have hoped for a true movie with a storyline.  It is my opinion that Bob’s life has so many interesting stories interwoven in it that even one, would make for an incredible story.

The one thing I really like about the movie is the vintage footage of Jamaica.  Wow I really live in a beautiful land filled with interesting scenes and more interesting people.  I will though not give a full review of the “movie” I will leave that up to my very capable fellow blogger @mamachell.

On to other things. I find that of recent I am in a militant mood.  I’m not really sure why but I just am. I would not say it is accompanied by much grumpiness but I’m happily militant. The question is why?

I’m not quite sure but I think for the most part it’s the skylarking nature of a few people that I know.  These are serious times we live in.  We should all be banding together to make a difference.  I find that so many people sit and play life like it’s a game of chess.  Always strategizing as to how they can one up the people that surround them.  Why can’t we just live in love? Support each other and make life be nice?

I know that my view on life is one that is not really realistic. However I will maintain it.  I truly believe that people for the most part are good and it is only after time and experience that we get jaded and start to play chess.  Well I will not!  I am who I am, I do what I do and I’m sorry for those who do not like it.  I can be nobody else but myself.  Yes I can be loud and obnoxious, yes I can be quite, yes I can be arrogant, yes I can give too much of myself.  But guess what mi nuh care!

Moving on…..my list for this blog entitled “what am I doing”:

So here are 8 random things that I’m doing

What am I drinking? Red Headed Slut

What am I eating? Chicken Fried Rice

What am I Reading? My secret life

What am I pondering? Colouring my hair again

What am I using? Android phones

Where am I looking forward to going? Castleton Gardens

Obscure reference? Olivia Munn

What am I surfing? Vintage pictures of Jamaica

Anyway I’m gonna get back to work and also finish watching this movie…. Multi-tasking mi seh. Oh off on the side. Rest in peace Aunt Amy… I will drink a beer for you…. Thanks for the many memories… two words “Hurricane Gilbert.”

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Lunch anyone?

So I am in a pickle!  I really have a mind fi move go a Portland!  Mi really nuh like town.  Cho!  Anyway I realize that I may have lost my way.  Yes I know, I know.  The whole reason for this blog was to find the real Jamaica. Massa let me tell you something its becoming more and more elusive.

I have found that I am becoming more and more nostalgic about Jamaica and our culture.  I often get into these conversation about “Remember when?” Yes I do remember the light 1 cent coins.  Yes I do remember Wilfred’s patties.  Yes I do remember a true snow cone with lime in it. Yes I do remember Coconut Park.  However let me push that aside for a moment, no matter how tempting.  The question I put to you my “reader” is this.  Do you explore the Jamaica of today?  Have you been on the Bob Marley museum tour?  When last you go downtown and have lunch on the water front?  How about Dunn’s River? Did you know the entrance fee for resident Jamaican is very low?  When last you just bungle up the “family” and tek a Sunday drive to Castleton Gardens?  As we approach lent and we all contemplate what we giving up, I challenge you (and me) to give up farin.  Not only eat Jamaican but be Jamaican.  If it’s a drink its Rum and boom.  If its vegetables its Callaloo. On a Saturday its Hope Zoo with the kids.  If is shopping its princess street. Go this month to a local play.  How about we all make a trip to Hollywell?

As the new Slang goes “A yah so nice!” See you in and around Jamaica for the Lenten season.

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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I found My blog Theme… For now

Well after much contemplation I have finally found a theme for my blog.  Drum roll please…… Where is the real Jamaica?  Hmm well I have always pondered this question.  Is the real Jamaica to be found on the corner of Barry Street and Rum Lane? Is it to be found In Sam Sharpe square? Or is it to be found in the hills of Portland in a little district called Swift River.  Well as it stands, I don’t know either.  So my endeavor is to find out.

So off I go to location number one to find out where the real Jamaica is.  Well I started off with a bang.  The Betty Wright show @ the ligunea club on Saturday 11th of December. Here is where I will be brutally honest.  I had no clue and still don’t have any clue who is Betty Wright.  That’s very bad for a former DJ but a soh it go.  Now lets make it very clear the VIP tickets that we (yes we… she will remain nameless to protect the innocent) used to get into the venue were complimentary.  Now these tickets if purchased would cost $4,500.  So here goes, we arrived into the venue to find that it was not even half full.   Now you how we Jamaica’s can get.  With this said I walked boldly and with confidence towards the front row.  Cho! Mi have on a VIP arm band.  After passing three levels of security, I was finally there, the real Jamaica.  I was in the super VIP section of an exclusive concert with a headliner that I did not even know.  As I looked around and I said nice, what I should have said was sexy.

As my feet were being cushioned by the uptown grass, in the distance I saw couches.  These were provided for the comfort of VIP’s like myself.  I was special.  I was no longer in the land of wood and water; I was now in the land of milk and honey.  Dare I say sexy again?  I needed a drink, so I decided to roll on over to the bar.  To my shock and surprise, it was a cash bar! What, so after a $4,500 ticket price I was expected to pay for drinks? Yes, it was $300 for a Red Stripe in a cup.  Hmm I now thought to myself this could not be the real Jamaica.  We like value for money.  Now let me just add here that I was also expected to pay for food.  So I said to myself, “Don’t give up”, the show must be worth the entrance fee.

Well the artist billed were Hezron, Tessane, Taurus riley, Freddie McGregor and of course Betty Wright. I missed Hezron and Tessane but Taurus mash up di place.  Freddie was stellar as usual.  I found it strange that for the most part everyone remained in their seats for the duration of the show.  Not me.  I was on my feet skanking. I took a moment and surveyed the crowed and came to the instant conclusion that this was not the real Jamaica.  The rest of the story goes like this. I still don’t know who Betty Wright is and ended up in bed early reading. My search continues….

 
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Posted by on December 13, 2010 in Event

 

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