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Heels and Tattoos

11 Jan

So a new year has been begun and the usual resolutions that go with it.  I have taken the past ten days to really look on my views on a lot of things.  It is my distinct impression that I say what most only whisper in dark corners.  So here we go as usual.

Kitten HeelsAll “kitten” heels should be banned for ladies over 21.  They are simply like using training wheels on a ten speed bicycle. Rubbish! Now don’t get it twisted, heels are not for everyone.  Many of my lady fren dem just nuh undastand. You need special training to wear these pieces of attire.  I know, I know, who am I to talk. I don’t wear heels, and should not know what it takes to be fully trained on how to use these essential tools.  Yes I said it tools.  Now let me school those who have not yet been taught.  Simple BlackA lady is simply not a lady if she does not have at least 3 pairs of heels.  The essentials are of course a simple black pump, a strappy silver and a “hey look at me” red.

Now that you have the basics, then and only then should you branch out to the trendy items. Ok, as said  previously, heels are not for everyone. The good news though is that you can be taught.  So grab a friend or for that matter even an enemy and ask how to step like a pro in heels. Listed below are few of my humble tips.

  • Yes, we know those heels are a cheap knock-off so don’t buy them save up your money and buy the real thing.
  • Don’t trust the opinion of a female friend or a man who just a look you. Call your ex and ask him to give you the number for the girl he cheated with you on.  I guarantee you that she knows how to wear heels and wear them well.
  • If you need help, you can always google it (or youtube it)
  • Walk in them like they are sneakers. In fact, you should be able to take them with to the gym and jump on the treadmill with them on.

Simply put, if you learn nothing else from my blog learn this. The right pair of heels worn appropriately can hypnotize everyone in a room.

Okay so, I segway into my second pet peeve. Like heels “kitten” tattoos just don’t make no rahtid sense. Yes I know that you thought that that little star on you ankle is cute.  Let me tell you what nobody else is bold enough to tell you.  It har not cute. I’ve said it before and will say it again.  Go BigGo big or go home. Yes large colourful pieces are sexy. I do get the fact that you are a professional, and in so stating I get the fact that your tats cannot and should not be on display at all times. So if you can’t flaunt it, hide it. Again I will give you my list of humble tips.

  • “Tramp stamps” were never in so don’t even contemplate it.
  • Research your tattoo artist fully.  Do not hesitate to ask a million questions of them and their clients.  (Do this in person)
  • If you see a tattoo you like, ask where they got it and who did it.  A Referral is the best way to find a good artist.
  • Pick a tattoo you like, and again research , research, research.
  • Finally, there is nothing wrong names.  If you love him you can tattoo it.

Phrase

Ok I think I have said a mouthful but I have one more thing to add.  The combination of tattoos and heels….. Oh my!

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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